Split the Baby
Hey, kids! It’s been a bit. And I wanted to write. I did!
And in actuality, I write a lot. I shit you not. I just don’t publish.
So, what was I writing? It’s hard to explain. It’s like a journal, I guess, except less personal and more depressing. Say for example, about Russia’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine. I have written about that a lot, but it’s very hard. It’s very stressful focusing on it…and, when I do, the prose don’t end. They branch out and expand, and then I just have to give up after so many hours and walk away from another unfinished piece. A piece that really is just too painful for me to re-read or edit into something.
And honestly, I think a lot of other writers (and decent, empathetic people in general) have said so much of what I would have said anyway, that I feel okay not publishing. But today, I’m gonna allow myself to be vague and finish something…anything. Good taste be damned.
To start, I’m gonna do a speed round to get me going. Here goes:
• War is bad.
• Putin is an evil malignant sociopath.
• Americans, particularly ones with a platform, who carry Putin’s water are gross and should probably be shipped to Russia so they can learn what it is to practice what they preach.
• The invasion of Ukraine is a crime.
• It will be years before we understand how horrible these crimes are. And right now we know they are beyond anything we can imagine.
• I think about the trauma caused by one man’s twisted mind.
• I think about the victims. The women. The children.
• I think about the desolation of their homeland.
• I think about the victims who will never be heard. Those who are erased.
• I think about the people who will have to collect these millions of tragic stories to create the record, the case against this murderer, this thief. The case against this shit-smear called Putin.
• I pity them all from the comfort of my home office in America.
Okay…the speed round is over.
Oh yeah, one more thing…
• No nukes!
Big picture, I think I see where this is going. I could be wrong, but I think we are going to see the baby split, or, in this case, re-split…as the first split happened in 2014. We are going to see a West and East Ukraine and a buffer-zone. Like West/East Germany, or North/South Korea. Putin is going to get his land bridge to Crimea over scorched earth and piles of innocent lives lost and call it a “success”. It will be considered a “compromise” solution to end the war. And I suppose Russia will hold it until that psychopathic piece of shit dies and Russia gets its next leader, and I suppose we’ll see what happens then. Hopefully, the new management will want to get Russia out of the “exile” it sells NATO its natural gas from.
In the meantime, Ukraine is getting decimated, because they shouldn’t have to be invaded and cede their land to that sick fuck. They are going to fight, and they should fight. They know the history of Ukraine and “Mother” Russia and it’s Big Papa. They know what they are fighting for, what they are fighting to save themselves from.
Why?
So Why are we here? Why is this happening now? I’m gonna get into this, but I have to keep it short and simple. I’m a busy guy.
Putin wanted to reassemble the Soviet Union. That ain’t going to happen because of NATO. NATO expanded and made that impossible. Most of the European countries that were former Soviet satellite states joined NATO to make sure they wouldn’t get invaded by Russia (You see, being a Russian satellite isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…even if Russian propaganda says otherwise…go figure).
The main two “pieces” left on the table…in play, if you will, are Belarus and Ukraine. As long as Putin had puppet governments in those countries keeping them out of NATO, he was okay with pretending they were independent. In his mind, they are his. He bitterly accepted that NATO expanded and took what it took, but this is his line in the sand, NATO can’t have these two countries.
The thing is, Ukraine, historically, has been so abused by Central Russia they saw things differently. So, in 2014 they dumped their Russian puppet and signed an “agreement” with the EU, hailed as a first step toward EU membership, which would put them on track to become part of NATO, pulling them out of Russian…really Putin’s…control. And so the little green men invaded Crimea and “pro-Russian militants” (i.e., other little green men) took Donbas.
If Joe Biden has any responsibility for this 2022 full Russian invasion, like shithead alt-righters and “conservative” pundits would claim, it ain’t because he’s “weak”, it’s because Joe dares to be a supporter of NATO, and NATO’s existence and expansion is a threat to Putin’s stated goal of regaining control over Ukraine and keeping it from joining the EU.
Now Trump, on the other hand, he was always shit-talking NATO. Him and Putin had several off-the-record conversations. Now this is conjecture, but I’d be willing to bet that in these meetings Trump told Putin that Ukrainian sovereignty was nothing he was too concerned about…“America First”, right? So, Putin was willing to bide his time and watch NATO in-fight and crumble. And as long as Putin could keep Ukraine unstable with the invasion of Donbas, it would not be able to join the EU or NATO anyway…too much drama.
You can imagine what a second term of Trump would had done to our European alliances, and how that corrosion could have made Putin’s full invasion of Ukraine easier.
That, fortunately, did not happen (Fortunate, because I don’t think I could’ve survived a second Trump term). But unfortunately, NATO getting full US support under Joe triggered Putin to do what he was going to do anyway.
You see, the invasion of Ukraine was going to happen no matter what. It was just a matter of how and when.
Bottom line, we need to remember there is one person responsible for this war. Putin. He did it. He is to blame. Yes, the Russian people support this war, and they are fighting this war, and they will get what is coming to them, too. But the buck stops with Putin.
And so, Joe Biden, in a highly criticized off-the-cuff public remark, said of Putin: “For God’s sake, this man cannot remain in power”.
And America, with its shitty history surrounding regime change blah-blah-blah and Biden shouldn’t have said it yada-yada-yada. FINE! But Uncle Joe is RIGHT! And maybe, just maybe, he’s talking directly to the Russian people… who, by our way of thinking, should have the right to determine who’s in power (which they don’t). Maybe he’s reminding them of what they already know is true…if they have any humanity left in their culture…if they haven’t been so brainwashed and intimidated that they don’t know right from wrong anymore.
Knowing right from wrong…That is something we work on here in America as flawed as we are…We work at doing better…and not falling into stagnant moral nihilism. I’d like to think it’s the reason we made it law to rotate out our Big Papa every eight years, so we are forced to try to do better, even against our weaker natures.
Putin is OJ Simpson
So I’ll end with this gimmick. This metaphor that I was playing with that I just want to get down here and then I’m out.
One of my first thoughts about this invasion was that it reminded me of a man assaulting his ex-wife. Later, It shifted to OJ…It’s not great, but I’m going to immortalize it here anyway.
So dig.
So Ukraine is Nicole…She gets divorced from her abusive husband OJ…OJ is Russia/Putin. See? It’s terrible, right? But I’m going to go on anyway.
Like I said we know Nicole was abused during the marriage, and OJ continued to stalk and harass her even after the divorce (See the last 100 or so years of Ukraine/Russia history).
Ron Goldman, we will call him the potential for Ukraine to join the EU…Okay, yes, I’m stretching here a bit, but don’t lose me now.
So, Ron is returning the glasses (The glasses are Joe Biden? NO! Never mind), OJ is stalking Nicole. Now Nicole, she’s an independent woman, she’s friendly with Ron, they aren’t a thing, and, if they were, it isn’t any of OJ’s business. But like I said, OJ is stalking, a man possessed. He sees Nicole open the door, greet Ron with a smile. Ron hands her the glasses. They’re talking. She’s thanking him.
Boom! Putin rolls in the tanks. See? Putin is OJ.
So does that make Tucker Carlson Johnnie Cochran? Look, I don’t want to stretch the metaphor too far.
I don’t know who Tulsi Gabbard and MTG are. That’s the funny thing about the “Dream Team”…no women on it.
And just like OJ, it looks like Putin is going to get away with it. OJ was protected by double jeopardy…and something else I’m not getting into. Putin is protected by the Russian energy industry…and the nukes.
Anyways, that metaphor is just an asinine way for me to distract myself from really feeling this gory, tragic nightmare that makes me so stressed every time I think about it I get a headache.
I have to not think about it in order to function.
IN CONCLUSION, don’t blame NATO. I hear shitheads like Oliver Stone arguing America is manipulating the world with the CIA and the State Department, and that NATO is “too big” and that “threatened” Putin, so we really should have disbanded NATO (i.e., this is NATO’s fault because it exists). NO! Stone, you’re fucking crazy. You got lost in the sauce, son! We figuratively have Hannibal Lecter running Russia…and he is hungry. And you want to defund the police! I want the FUCKING police in place you dumb motherfucker. Why don’t you do something useful and go suck Castro’s mummified cock…again.
And this CIA blaming gets to the deep state and my last, last point. This is a message to any Alt-right/Q dipshits out there bitching about the price of gas…I want to explain something to you. Right now, as high as those gas prices might seem, you are still paying less than what the vast majority of the civilized world paid for gas BEFORE the invasion…and you can thank the deep state for that. They made that happen. We did, and still do, have cheap gas because of the “deep state” (otherwise known as the US Government). I can’t imagine what the price of gas would be if shittards like you ran the show.
And here’s the scoop, we need to get the fuck away from using combustion based energy anyway…because…you know…
Hey, I have a bright idea? Maybe Russia and the US can mutually nuke each other just enough to create a mini-nuclear winter that reverses global warming…Kinda like when Trump wanted to nuke hurricanes. I say fuck that, let’s go BIG! I’m thinking outside of the box, BABY! It’s a win-win. We just have to work out with Russia exactly how much we can nuke each other to get the temperature just right. You don’t want to over nuke. If I’ve learned one thing from a lifetime of microwave use, it’s don’t over-nuke. Yes, I understand a lot of people will die. We sacrifice a few for the greater good of me and the rest. I’m sure the dead will understand. This way we can keep driving big pickup trucks with knobby tires to over-compensate for our tiny peckers. Not that I have a tiny pecker. Mine’s big and strong, like Putin.
